


The More You Know

by twinklehana



Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon
Genre: Crack, Dear god what the fuck did I just write, Gen, Science, Set after the Stars arc, This is basically just a crackfic based on something I learned in class today
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-23
Updated: 2018-01-23
Packaged: 2019-03-08 10:59:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13456806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twinklehana/pseuds/twinklehana
Summary: A youma shows up during a beach volleyball game being played by all of the senshi, leaving them in total confusion as they had already defeated the youma ages ago. But something even more unexpected happens while fighting the youma.





	The More You Know

**Author's Note:**

> OK SO THIS WAS BASED ON SOMETHING I LEARNED IN SCIENCE CLASS TODAY AND AFTER I HEARD IT I IMMEDIATELY CAME UP WITH THE IDEA FOR THIS FIC
> 
> it breaks the fourth wall a lot and is totally OOC but hey thats what all my fanfics do, i dont think anyone will care anyway
> 
> also i was working on updates for my chatfics but then my computer crashed and i lost the drafts so i'm a bit demotivated right now bUT THE SHIT WILL BE WRITTEN SOON DON'T WORRY

The volleyball is flying right towards Hotaru as she leaps to hit it back to the other side, the sand under her sticking to her feet from running around in it for so long.

“Good hit, Hotaru!” Chibiusa yells, causing Hotaru to smile as Chibiusa smiles back. Soon enough, however, the ball is flying right back towards them from the other side.

“I got it!” Haruka said, loud enough for everyone around her to hear as she hit the ball hard enough for it to fly over a certain bun-head. It promptly hit the ground right behind her as nobody went to hit it back.

“Welp, that makes 15-9. I think we can see who the winners are here.” Setsuna chuckled as she went over to mark the winner in the makeshift scoreboard in the sand.

Hotaru’s side of the net cheered as they celebrated their victory while Usagi’s group sighed.

“Unfair, you guys had a lot of good players!” Usagi proclaimed while marching over to Haruka and Michiru.

Hotaru laughed at Usagi’s usual tendency to be.. well, a sore loser.

“Well maybe you should’ve played harder, _bunhead_.”

Usagi growled as Ami and Makoto held her back to prevent a fight from breaking out.

“Sorry, sorry!! Fair game, Haruka!” Ami apologized to Haruka while helping Makoto.

“It’s alright, we all know how Bun-head here can get.” Haruka reassured her.

“HEY!” Usagi yelled out, loud enough for everyone to hear. Makoto laughed nervously while placing a hand over Usagi’s mouth to quiet her, when suddenly there was a loud scream.

Everyone turned around to find the source of the yell… which was definitely not what they were expecting. At all.

_A rogue youma._

**_A rogue youma._ **

“I-IS THAT A YOUMA?!” Chibiusa yelled out in confusion.

“It seems so, unfortunately! But aren’t they all supposed to be gone? I mean, we defeated Queen Beryl ages ago! How is there one left?” Ami exclaimed.

“I don’t know, but let’s fight it!” Usagi shouted as everyone yelled out their transformation phrases.

“Oh, here we go.. This is going to take a while, isn’t it?” A bored looking Luna asked a lazy Artemis.

“Well, yeah. ALL OF THEM are transforming at once. We both have seen this like, a million times by now. Did you lose your memory or something?” Artemis responded sarcastically.

“Geez, didn’t know you became such an ass after the fight with Galaxia.”

“I don’t know, fuck off. Let’s just watch the girls kick monster ass because there’s literally nothing else happening in this fanfic right now.”

“Wait what?”

“Nothing.”

After the (at least) five minute transformation sequence that left Luna, Artemis, and even the Youma bored, monster ass started getting kicked.

“Me first!! Pink Sugar Heart Attack!” Chibi Moon shouted as she held the Pink Moon Rod in front of her to perform the attack.

Immediately, dozens of hearts shot out of the small staff, pelting the Youma with them. The Youma yelled out in pain before shouting out its own attack, shooting-- _are those tennis balls?_ \-- at the senshi.

Saturn, unlike the others, didn’t react fast enough, and ended up getting hit.--

“Oh god damnit, Saturn, you’ve fought countless super villain aliens from different galaxies and you can’t dodge a damn _tennis ball?_ ” Artemis shouted as Luna kicked him.

..The knockback from the tennis ball sent Saturn flying straight into the beach waters, to the shock of the other senshi.

“Saturn!” Chibi Moon called out in worry.

But unexpectedly, something odd happened.

Saturn was _floating in the water._ She was simply laying there like it was solid ground.

“The fuck?” Everyone said in confusion.

“Is Saturn just.. floating in the water?” Venus asked as everyone, including the Youma, stared at her. Saturn simply stared at them back, also completely confused.

“Why the hell am I floating in water?” Saturn asked, loud enough for everyone to hear.

Makoto turned around to face Ami and shouted, “Yo, Ami! Why the hell is she floating?”

“I DON’T FUCKING KNOW!”

“YOU’RE THE SMART ONE HERE!”

“HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FUCKING KNOW EVERYTHING?”

“Oh, Jesus, can we just get this over with?” The youma groaned.

“Fear not, for I am here!” A masculine voice shouted as a rose landed on the ground.

“WRONG SHOW, DUMBASS!” Luna shouted in Tuxedo Mask’s direction.

“Oh, fuck, yeah right… uh, what do I say?” He questioned.

“Fucking hell, idiot, you say some stupid fancy romantic phrase nobody gives a shit about!” Venus shouted out.

“Says the Senshi of Love.” Mars snickered.

“FUCK OFF, I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON IN THIS FANFIC ANYMORE!”

“NEITHER DO I!”

“EVERYONE, STOP FUCKING FIGHTING OR ELSE THAT’S ALL THIS FANFIC IS GONNA BE!” Setsuna yelled out to get the character’s attention because this fanfic has no straight man in it right now and I don’t even know what’s going on anymore.

“YEAH, WE GOT A YOUMA TO DEFEAT AND A FLOATING SATURN TO SAVE!” Chibi Moon continued.

“..uh, I don’t think I need saving-” Saturn corrected but was immediately interrupted by Chibi Moon again:

“WHO CARES, I’M GAY!”

“Aren’t we all?” Saturn asked.

“SHHHH.” Chibi Moon stifled her.

At this point, Tuxedo Mask just went to sit down next to the cats and the Youma because literally nothing is happening.

“Oh, fuck it, let’s just get this over with and get Saturn out of the water so we can finally end this trainwreck.” Moon concluded as she stomped over to the Youma.

She raised the Spiral Heart Moon Rod and boredly stated, “Moon Spiral Heart Attack.” She didn’t even bother to strike a pose or anything as everyone expected; she simply hit the youma on the head with the staff and it disintegrated.

The youma didn’t say anything either as it was dying. It probably wanted death as much as the author does right now.

Everyone (save for Saturn) detransformed.

“So what do we do about Saturn? She’s kinda still floating there.” Chibiusa pointed out as everyone turned back to look at her. Surely enough, Saturn was still laying in the water, not even sinking.

“Um.. Ami, you can swim, right?” Usagi asked.

“Yeah, give me a moment.” Ami shrugged as she simply walked over to the waters and went into the water to swim. She grabbed Saturn’s wrist while pulling her over to the sand and finally helping her onto her feet, Ami herself exiting the waters. It was quiet as everyone stared at this happening in total shock because why the fuck is Saturn floating.

“So.. is Hotaru the only one who can float in water or can we all do it?” Finally, Rei asked the question on everyone’s minds.

“There’s only one way to find out. Bunhead, transform and jump into the water.” Haruka stated.

“If she floats, then that means we all probably have the ability to float. If she doesn’t, she sinks and dies.” 

“wAIT WHAT--” Usagi yelled out before Haruka grabbed her wrist.

“Transform or I’m gonna kick you in the vagina.”

Terrified at being kicked in the vagina because of her current period (ouch), Usagi quickly transformed. After transforming, Haruka grabbed her wrist again and dragged her in front of the water before pushing her in. She screamed and, of course, started sinking. Ami quickly rushed in again to pull her out (heh, that’s what she said). 

Once out of the water, she detransformed. Usagi panted as Haruka laughed.

“Welp, that should be enough confirmation for us that only Hotaru can float.” Michiru shrugged.

“But _why_?” Rei asked.

“Maybe it’s something to do with the planet Saturn or something else? Like, maybe its density?” Minako asked.

“Ooh, good idea, Minako! Quick, someone google the density of Saturn!” Chibiusa gasped out.

“On it!” Usagi replied, her eyes already glued to her phone as she typed at the speed of light.

She yelped out when she got to the Yahoo Answers page, “Holy shit on a shingle, I was right! It IS the density!! Apparently it says that since the planet Saturn has a density that’s under 1.0, it could..” She stopped.

“Ami, how do you say this word?” She walked up to Ami.

“Dumbass, that says ‘theoretically’. Are you seriously that fucking stupid?”

“Possibly.”

“Oh shut the fuck up and get on with it because the author is tired.”

“FFFFIIIIIIIINE.” Usagi spat out. “Continuing on, Saturn could _theoretically_ float on water. That explains why Saturn just floated when she landed in the water, I guess.” Usagi shrugged.

Everyone else looked dumbfounded.

“How the fuck did we not know that?” Michiru asked.

“Dunno, but who cares? Now I can throw Hotaru into the water at pools without danger of her drowning!” Chibiusa cheerfully exclaimed.

“B-but it only happens when I’m transformed!” Hotaru cried out.

“Are you suuuuuure?” Chibiusa smirked.

“Fuck.” Hotaru said as Chibiusa ran to throw her in the water again, this time detransformed.

**Author's Note:**

> The More You Know™
> 
> also yes i know im a shit writer but i never write anything in general so dont blame me
> 
> this is crack anyway though so who gives a shit


End file.
